This week my Daddeo and I went to an event by the Durham Public Schools Hub Farm. We heard ‘vegetable plants’ and translated it to ‘wanna go?’. The answer is always yes from me. It was an incredibly lovely event on a gorgeous March day. After gathering up our plants, we walked around the farm and walked past a table set up by the Durham Public Health Department on our way out. They were giving away free recipes we could make with our veggies, and I introduced myself to one of the employees. I told her I was an epidemiologist and then stumbled over my words like a champ, just trying to tell her thank you for all the work they’ve been doing during the pandemic. Then I had to stop because I felt a lump in my throat. I stumbled through a good bye and probably said I love you (because I’m awkward like that when trying not to cry…or always). I got in my car to drive home. And just. Cried.
Amen and Amen. As a follower of Christ I heartily agree with you. My heart aches for those who act in hatred and ignorance and feel they echo the heart of the God who loves us and reveals the intricacies of Knowledge and allows the advancement of healing - which includes science and medicine.
As PIO of a very rural health department, I feel every word you wrote here. My faith has been battered and bruised. Our counties are very red politically. The threats were agonizing, along with silence from decades long friends because of my job. The anger from evangelicals was the hardest. I don't refer to myself as a Christian anymore, lest someone tag me as an evangelical. I now follow Jesus. My faith is quiet. I carry a great deal of pain.
I will never be the person I was "before" COVID. I am different now. Just when I thought there was a small glimmer of light, my 68 year old husband was dx'd with Alzheimer's and frontal lobe dementia. I am 7 years younger than him. His condition worsens daily. I went from the trauma of COVID to the trauma of dementia, with no moment to process any part of this.
Absolutely the truth! I have loved reading your posts/emails and it gives me strength. I too lost my church. I didn’t leave them. They left me There was no acknowledgment (masks or separation) to be protected from COVID. I couldn’t go and take that chance. I’m 73 and at the time visiting and caring for a 97 year old father and a 65 year old brother with Down’s syndrome and heart issues. I sent messages at Easter 3years ago begging for a service with more protection. My requests were never acknowledged. I’ve moved on keeping the Lord in my life.
Bless you, dear Emily, for putting this into words. I went through a long season of not knowing who my people were-feeling estranged from Christian brothers and sisters who denied the pandemic’s effects, but not in solidarity either with non-Christian colleagues with whom I had the science in common. To them, identifying with Christ was laughable and unscientific. Thank you for your voice of truth and the fact that you continue to advocate for the voiceless and the needy. Please know that your voice in the storm has been a source of strength and encouragement to me. May our Lord encourage you in the work He gives you! ❤️
Yours was the message of the faithful that I needed to see and "hear" today. I have so much gratitude for what you've shared with me, how you - though you don't know me or my family - has lifted me up for years now. I don't live this gratitude nearly enough and your post today reminded me of that. THANK YOU for the many gifts. I will endeavor to honor those better by living with more gratitude - starting with saying thank you.
My heart aches for what you have been through. I haven’t been as directly hurt by my fellow believers as you have, but my heart has felt so broken by the behavior of those I used to trust without reserve. Finding my way is so different these days, and so hard. Thank you for sharing your journey and hope.
100% with you. Love, empathy, caring should be the driving force behind everything we do, we say, we endeavor. May it be science, communication, arts or sports. I wish violence wasn't a natural human way to express confusion, fear and doubt. Disagreement is necessary in society, so is doubt. But it should be a stepping stone for growth and improvement. Not for conflict and violence. I wish every child in the world had access to an education that helps them to be more introspective, to breathe and express their discomfort differently, and discover what a driving force it can be.
Thank you for staying strong and true to who you are and why you do what you do, in a benevolent way. You are not alone.
You have been such a hero in my eyes. In a scary, scary world where I have been disappointed on every level by people spreading lies. It stresses those of us out more, who want to stay healthy! Meanness, ugly, dark! But i turned all info off but yours! You tell me clearly, confidently, info that helps me make choices about my life, that I need! I trust you! I am thankful for you! Thank you for leading those of us who care about others, and ourselves, and just want to be safe. Your help is vital to me! You are a rockstar! You are my Mr Roger's! You make me feel cared for, understood. That is priceless!
Yes. March 11, 2020 is the date I knew I had to isolate to protect myself. I knew it was coming. I asked to go out to a restaurant after church in the 8th, anticipating that I wouldn't be able to dine in one for a while. I called my music director on that Wednesday the 11th to tell her I wouldn't be able to cantor nor sing in the choir on Sunday. Happily, she told me she thought my decision was entirely appropriate, and the worship service was cancelled in Saturday—the day after lockdowns were announced for the following week. I cried for 2½ hours that day, knowing what was coming and mourning for myself and everyone else. May we have compassion for ourselves and for others as we deal with how we all coped with the trauma of COVID-19.
I think I read every single post you wrote about COVID and faith and everything in between. I’m in Waco and I know we have mutual friends. Just when I thought maybe we could meet for a cup of coffee or tea, you were moving. I’m so interested to hear more of your story. I would love to meet you someday!!
Thank you for continuing to share. Your concern and care for the people of this world while being beaten and bruised by those you trusted to support you is not unnoticed. Trauma is enduring and grief is a story to be told. We must pay attention. To ourselves. To our world. To those beside us.
When I began to doubt I was sane, I found your voice. It wasn't shouting, so I listened, and in it I found rest. Rest for my battered heart and I began to trust myself again. I began to listen to the Spirit in me, instead of the voices talking to me. Not that I am right about everything, but the disorientation I experienced made me lose myself for a bit and I was happy to have you as a guide to find my way back to me.
I acknowledge the continued story. The continued struggle. This (as is everything in life) was not something to live through or get over. The pandemic has woven itself into the fabric of our lives and changed each of us, for some in very beautiful ways.
Amen and Amen. As a follower of Christ I heartily agree with you. My heart aches for those who act in hatred and ignorance and feel they echo the heart of the God who loves us and reveals the intricacies of Knowledge and allows the advancement of healing - which includes science and medicine.
As PIO of a very rural health department, I feel every word you wrote here. My faith has been battered and bruised. Our counties are very red politically. The threats were agonizing, along with silence from decades long friends because of my job. The anger from evangelicals was the hardest. I don't refer to myself as a Christian anymore, lest someone tag me as an evangelical. I now follow Jesus. My faith is quiet. I carry a great deal of pain.
I will never be the person I was "before" COVID. I am different now. Just when I thought there was a small glimmer of light, my 68 year old husband was dx'd with Alzheimer's and frontal lobe dementia. I am 7 years younger than him. His condition worsens daily. I went from the trauma of COVID to the trauma of dementia, with no moment to process any part of this.
Wow, this is superb and lovely and the ache is so very real and honest. No wonder I suggested you write a book! Thanks for this, sister.
Thank you for loving us as we love and pray for you.
Thanks for the recap and for including the emotional toll you and many have paid.
Absolutely the truth! I have loved reading your posts/emails and it gives me strength. I too lost my church. I didn’t leave them. They left me There was no acknowledgment (masks or separation) to be protected from COVID. I couldn’t go and take that chance. I’m 73 and at the time visiting and caring for a 97 year old father and a 65 year old brother with Down’s syndrome and heart issues. I sent messages at Easter 3years ago begging for a service with more protection. My requests were never acknowledged. I’ve moved on keeping the Lord in my life.
Magnificent. I'm so deeply sorry for your having to put up with hatred, as you sought to inform and protect all of us. God bless you and thank you.
All of that. Thank you. And Amen sister.
Bless you, dear Emily, for putting this into words. I went through a long season of not knowing who my people were-feeling estranged from Christian brothers and sisters who denied the pandemic’s effects, but not in solidarity either with non-Christian colleagues with whom I had the science in common. To them, identifying with Christ was laughable and unscientific. Thank you for your voice of truth and the fact that you continue to advocate for the voiceless and the needy. Please know that your voice in the storm has been a source of strength and encouragement to me. May our Lord encourage you in the work He gives you! ❤️
Yours was the message of the faithful that I needed to see and "hear" today. I have so much gratitude for what you've shared with me, how you - though you don't know me or my family - has lifted me up for years now. I don't live this gratitude nearly enough and your post today reminded me of that. THANK YOU for the many gifts. I will endeavor to honor those better by living with more gratitude - starting with saying thank you.
My heart aches for what you have been through. I haven’t been as directly hurt by my fellow believers as you have, but my heart has felt so broken by the behavior of those I used to trust without reserve. Finding my way is so different these days, and so hard. Thank you for sharing your journey and hope.
French Canadian agnostic here...
100% with you. Love, empathy, caring should be the driving force behind everything we do, we say, we endeavor. May it be science, communication, arts or sports. I wish violence wasn't a natural human way to express confusion, fear and doubt. Disagreement is necessary in society, so is doubt. But it should be a stepping stone for growth and improvement. Not for conflict and violence. I wish every child in the world had access to an education that helps them to be more introspective, to breathe and express their discomfort differently, and discover what a driving force it can be.
Thank you for staying strong and true to who you are and why you do what you do, in a benevolent way. You are not alone.
You have been such a hero in my eyes. In a scary, scary world where I have been disappointed on every level by people spreading lies. It stresses those of us out more, who want to stay healthy! Meanness, ugly, dark! But i turned all info off but yours! You tell me clearly, confidently, info that helps me make choices about my life, that I need! I trust you! I am thankful for you! Thank you for leading those of us who care about others, and ourselves, and just want to be safe. Your help is vital to me! You are a rockstar! You are my Mr Roger's! You make me feel cared for, understood. That is priceless!
Thank you!
Erica Reeves
Yes. March 11, 2020 is the date I knew I had to isolate to protect myself. I knew it was coming. I asked to go out to a restaurant after church in the 8th, anticipating that I wouldn't be able to dine in one for a while. I called my music director on that Wednesday the 11th to tell her I wouldn't be able to cantor nor sing in the choir on Sunday. Happily, she told me she thought my decision was entirely appropriate, and the worship service was cancelled in Saturday—the day after lockdowns were announced for the following week. I cried for 2½ hours that day, knowing what was coming and mourning for myself and everyone else. May we have compassion for ourselves and for others as we deal with how we all coped with the trauma of COVID-19.
I think I read every single post you wrote about COVID and faith and everything in between. I’m in Waco and I know we have mutual friends. Just when I thought maybe we could meet for a cup of coffee or tea, you were moving. I’m so interested to hear more of your story. I would love to meet you someday!!
Thank you for continuing to share. Your concern and care for the people of this world while being beaten and bruised by those you trusted to support you is not unnoticed. Trauma is enduring and grief is a story to be told. We must pay attention. To ourselves. To our world. To those beside us.
When I began to doubt I was sane, I found your voice. It wasn't shouting, so I listened, and in it I found rest. Rest for my battered heart and I began to trust myself again. I began to listen to the Spirit in me, instead of the voices talking to me. Not that I am right about everything, but the disorientation I experienced made me lose myself for a bit and I was happy to have you as a guide to find my way back to me.
I acknowledge the continued story. The continued struggle. This (as is everything in life) was not something to live through or get over. The pandemic has woven itself into the fabric of our lives and changed each of us, for some in very beautiful ways.