Capitalism and 7th place

Hi everyone! I had a friend at church today say he was looking for to my posts on here - and, I looked back to see I posted two weeks ago! Where does the time go? I turned in my finalish edits for my book (eek to that!) and I think my brain turned off. I’ve sat down to write several times with a blinking cursor…and, nothing came out. So, here I am, two weeks later, typing my random thoughts for the day. And, also. I’m still tickled-pink/flabbergasted/surprised/thankful that there are people like you reading what I write. I know there are thousands of you and I’m in awe (and still a bit embarrassed) of those numbers. So, thank you for reading. Here’s my rambling for the day.

My Dad and I went thrifting this weekend - one of our favorite things to do. It’s like the thrill of the hunt and finding something I didn’t know I needed, but can’t live without. Well, sometimes my husband wonders why I can’t live without it. I can’t seem to say ‘no’ to great antiques. This weekend, here’s what I found: A few books on trees and Walden (because everyone needs great tree coffee table books and Thoreau). A round potholder thing in my favorite colors - because I have an old, rickety table with a stain on top that I need to cover up. A picture I LOVE. I saw one with just the woman years ago in a thrift store and didn’t get it - I’ve been on the lookout ever since. A few records because I got a great victrola for my birthday. Not pictured are water bottles - because we seem to lose those. My family seems to have a knack for losing water bottles and socks. Anyone else? Ok, back to the thrifting…

Do you see what else is in that picture? At the sale, the lady in charge was laughing at the ribbon she found. For 7th place. She was going to throw it away and I asked if I could have it. Because I need the reminder that it’s ok to come in 7th place at times. (And it makes me laugh.) It’s ok to not produce, achieve, #nailedit, win at all times. It’s ok to rest. To stop and be still. To not be the fastest, smartest, strongest, achieve-y-est all the time. That resting and going slower sometimes is the fastest, strongest, and smartest way.

I’ve been thinking about this ribbon a lot today. In our capitalist society of the US, we grow up hearing phrases like, “Go for your dreams”, “If you dream it, you can achieve it”, “You can do anything you set your mind to”, and the like. Don’t get me wrong. I’m an Enneagram 3 so I’m your gal if you want to talk about productivity and pushing toward achievement at all costs. Here’s what I’ve learned more though. Doing that, individually and as a society, usually means that others get left behind in our full-throttle push for “first”. We miss the margins or push more people to the margins for our own climb up the proverbial ladders that never seem to end anyways. There’s always something more to do, isn’t there? There’s always someone else ahead and behind us. Once you get to the top rung, another few steps are added. Do you see the rat race and the continual hustle? And, then we’re tired or burnt out. Hustle culture drives me bonkers now.

My word of the year for 2022 was “Sabbath”. Actually, I decided on that word in 2015-2016. At the time, I was nearly done with my PhD in epidemiology at UNC and decided that I would work really hard for 6 years and take a sabbath at the end - that’s what the Bible says to do, right? If you’re a Biblical scholar, don’t correct me here. Just go with it. =) In the Bible, the people were told to take a sabbath year every 7 years. They should not produce, even the land should lay fallow, and they should share their abundance and crops. To me, those verses always sounded like it was a way to level the playing field to ensure equality all around. Over and over again. And a rest for the people and even the land. They would eat and live off the abundance of the other years or in the abundance of the land that would keep producing for them. And others would too.

A full stop rest in 2022 was exactly what I needed because, well, I got super duper sick mid-2021 that lasted for 15 months. So, in a way, the year was forced on me. Or, I think it came at just the right time. Here’s what also happened in 2022. Keep in mind, this was while I was mostly in bed and feeling like I was getting more and more behind in *waves hands widely* everything. In 2022, I got a really competitive grant I had been trying to get for 4 years. I got a dream book deal. To my huge surprise, I kept publishing my research and people were citing it. In other words, I didn’t fall behind like I thought I would. To my metrics, I felt like I was falling behind because I wasn’t working all the time like I was used to. But, somehow the land kept producing or my work from the past 6 years was still bearing fruit. And, I was living. I sure wasn’t thriving like I was used to. But, I was living and daily fighting hard to get well.

In other words, I was in 7th place in 2022 in lots of ways. But, that was only according to the capitalistic/individualistic metric of achievement. I needed a drastic redefinition of what “success” looks like. To the metric of Sabbath and rest, I was winning in a race with no places to be had. But not 1st place or really any place at all. I was learning to win at being me, whatever that looked like. And, that was enough. It might look like 7th place to everyone else or even to myself when I find my enneagram-3-ness coming out. But, it’s winning at resting. And, then at life.

Now, I’m not a proponent of the health-and-wealth type of gospel. I realize that me telling you that I still had achievements in 2022 can sound like that. But, I think there’s a deeper principle here. I think that letting our lives rest and lay fallow creates room and space for things to grow that have always been trying to bloom - but, the worries and cares and to-do-lists squash them out. Now, with rest and time and a Sabbath there’s room to bloom. And, we can slow down enough to finally see it and be in awe.

I think the bigger principle too is that our resting allows for others to flourish too. Here’s where the neighbor part comes in. When we trust in the land, of what we’ve planted, of being in a community with like-minded others who have worked right beside us, we can switch our minds to one of enoughness rather than scarcity. That means our hands open up to share our abundance with those in need. Do you see how that fights against capitalism? Don’t get me wrong, this does not fight against hard work. (Remember, you take a Sabbath year because you’ve worked diligently for 6 years.) Rather opening up our enoughness for others reminds us that hard work and rest are two sides of the same coin. Without it, we become individualistic consumers. With rest and sabbath, we stop to say thank you, to share, to trust, to remember the land is not ours and neither is the abundance. We remember we are stewards and neighbors, people of enoughness and worthy of rest. I think if we lived like that, there would no longer be scarcity or need, hunger or want, thirst or poverty. I think this would be true for rich people and rich countries sharing what they have. I don’t believe we need more money or resources in the world. I think we need more sharing, more equity from those with more than enough. Sabbath and resting reminds us to do that for others.

So, I’m living in 7th place today. And, lovin’ it. It’s also not lost on me that the painting I found at the thrift sale (scroll up a bit to look at it again) looks like a family taking time to thank the land they live and work on. Maybe they are living a sabbath year too? I don’t know, but I’m thinking about it when I look at the painting now. And, I’m hanging the 7th place ribbon in my office to remember that 7th place is just fine. Success, to me now, is how much have I shared and rested. In that is abundance.

You, friends, are more than enough. Even if you feel like you’re in 7th place. Solidarity with ya! -Emily